We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
