Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
