dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
