Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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