Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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