I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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