I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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