he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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