i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
