My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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