I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
