I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
