Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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