Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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