Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize