After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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