Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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