I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
