Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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