My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
