I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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