we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
