sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
