Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
