i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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