Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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