I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
