do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
