I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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