What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
