Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just want nice things and good sex
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
