So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
