she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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