Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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