Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize