What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
be right there i have to get my cape
i think my cat just said my name.
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