i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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