Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize