I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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