I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
