I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Randomize
