Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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