I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
NoShamevember. You game?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
