All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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