We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
