Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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