This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
