Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
