Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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