the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
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having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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