life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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