Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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