So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?