So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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