i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You're like the curious george of whores
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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