If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
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I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
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The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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