I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sorry my hands just texted you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
