Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
