Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
