I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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