Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
