its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
